The disappointment runs deep. I don't know what exactly is. What I do know is that I'm not feeling well and that I'll have to give up exhausted after cycling. Is it because of me? Why did nothing work? The Ironman Hawaii just isn't supposed to be my race yet. The days after the race I don't really feel any better. Body aches, sleepless nights bathed in sweat. But there is not much time to take care of it. Just two days after the race, I'm on the plane to Thailand to prepare for the IM Malaysia at the Thanyapura Sport Resort.
I have no idea how to do this race. The pain doesn't really go away. We meet friends and their first reaction is that it sounds like dengue fever. Two days later, Ironman sent an email asking everyone who had these symptoms to get in touch because dengue fever had broken out in Hawaii. On the one hand, a stone falls from my heart that it wasn't my fault. On the other hand, it's not clear to me how to do Malaysia. My coach Jo Spindler and our local friends somehow manage to get me out of my mental swamp. We talk a lot about God and the world. Not triathlon. Time flies like in flight. Four weeks in Thanyapura/Thailand seems like one to me. I am not thinking of the IM Malaysia.
My only glimmer of hope is my training times, which are stabilizing again. My power is slowly coming back. Then it's off to Langkawi. As the defending champion, I have a full program there. A new situation. I have never been in the embarrassment of being able to defend an Ironman title. The days before the race are packed with appointments: visit to the Langkawi Kids Hospital, autograph session, press conference, opening ceremony. In addition, check the route changes and train a bit in between.
I jump out of bed on race morning. Focus and anticipation for the race are there! I'm so excited that I even forget Jo's birthday. The professional field is almost three times as big this year as it was in 2014. Together with the men, we are almost 70 professionals. The starting shot is fired, I've got a great start. The pressure in the water is there. I can keep my group for a long time. But I still lose it in the last 600m and miss the swim exit. 
So much for the pro. A paddler eventually arrives excited and says I have to swim back. It's going well! Get on the bike and iron out the mistake again.
After 35km, I finally catch up with the leading group. I don't hesitate. Head down and push through. After a good 5 hours and the fastest bike split of the day, I reach the transition zone with a four-and-a-half-minute lead over the second-place finisher. I approach the marathon cautiously. Everyone acts as if they expected nothing less from me. No one can tell that I'm really struggling. I think of Jo's words: "What hurts you will kill the others." Completely exhausted, but overjoyed, I cross the finish line as the "Queen of Malaysia."
Rarely have I reached my limits like this. I still can't really realize what I just did. I now look back on this Ironman with a gap of two weeks. At the finish I couldn't get it out of my mouth that I would like to defend my title again in 2016, I was so exhausted and tired. But a hat trick would of course have a certain appeal. Especially since I feel really comfortable in Langkawi and Phuket and it's cool when security officers at the airport drop everything to get a photo with me 😉
With my third Ironman win, a 70.3 win and a half-challenge win in just 13 months, I'm ending the year very reassured. My most successful season so far, only briefly interrupted by a small mosquito. After almost eight weeks on the road, I'm now looking forward to spending some time with family and friends before heading back to Mallorca.
